OffLine...for i donno how long.....

[Më£ïñÐa]

shits not fare! God took Briar instead of me...
i'm so tired of bein kicked down...
i owe IRS 250$
electricity is off at any second..

at work they said...if i cry 1 more time when i'm told to go home in 4 hours....
they wont need me any more....

FINE!!! i'll slit my wrists right in front of them.....

seriously....if it should happen, NOT 1 sad face better happen....you got that!

yes, i'm strong, and i work hard, but i'm tired, tired of this wretched life...
and i'm tired of crying for help... i'm tired of crying

Happy Birthday to me

[Blazey]

[img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img] oh mel..i'd give anything to give you some comfort..but words are all i can offer..and they dont help much..but i will say this..dont tell me not to be sad..dont tell me not to care..do not tell me your worthless..becuase YOU are not..no matter how far down you go..there is only one way up..and i'll be damned if i'd let them win..ive been thru some stuff that would make most of you run sobbing..i dont talk about it..i try not to burden anyone with it..i guess amy is the only person who truly knows the depths that my despair sunk me too..but let me tell you something..death is final..there is no coming back..and if i had allowed myself to do the ultimate..to take my life..who wins in that situation..not me..im dead..not my family..they will greive..not my freinds..they will greive as only they can..not my enemies..they will dance and rejoice..fuck that..if im gonna go down its kicking and screamin..fuck letting them take me without a complaint...You will be able to come back up mel..you will..i know this in my heart..your too strong..look how far youve come..why fall back now..it looks tuff i know..it looks impossible..but nothing is impossible if you want it bad enough..there are ways out of every diaster..you just have to find it..your heart can lead you so far..before your head has to take over...i know you dont think much of me really..i know im not your best freind..but i do know one thing..and you should too..I CARE..and i will continue to care..im here if you need me..

[Mystyx]

Damn it that got me all pumped up!!!!! Very nicely said Blaze...... Life only gets to you if you let it....tired of gettin kick around...then stop gettin kicked around....time for change perhaps...... Get a new job.... get a new home.... move and start over.....nothing is in stone and the world is your stage...... nothing is impossible.... When your done crying then be ready to come out swinging....if you want you life to be differnt...then make it happen....it right there inside... just go for it...you might amaze yourself..your stronger then you know and nothing wrong with gettin down... we all need it...its what helps flush out the bad and gets us ready for the great....... You got some amazing friends here that love you sooooooo much and would do just about anything for you....... thats a lot more then some have.... I don't even really know ya very well.... but I am here too.....

Hang in there chick-a-dee.....

[Briii]

Mel...
When so many people are fighting daily to keep their life, you're talking about ending yours.

NO!

Do NOT let this kick your ass. You are a very strongwilled person, and though you are being beat down by life right now, it will change.

Nothing ever stays the same. Sometimes it feels like its never gonna change, but.... it does.

Once you do this... its permanent. You can't change it. Ever. Think it over.

Are you going to let those bastards get the best of you? Are you going to lay down and die?

NO!

You gotta get up, brush yourself off, and just like they said above me *glances up at Blaze and Wiq* find a different job... get the hell out of dodge, relocate, somewhere....... anywhere...... but don't stay there if its bringing you down to this point.

We DO CARE. We WILL be sad if you do something to yourself. How could we NOT? You can't seriously expect us to not care.

We are here.

We'll always be here.

For you.

[Më£ïñÐa]

Blaze, remember when we first met, we were talking about bands and you sent me to a site....
i clicked on something and there was a video of the guy floppin his dilly across the stage...
it was such a shock that you sent me to see something like that....
and you couldnt understand what i was talkin about till you went and saw it....
YOU were soooo embarrassed... i laughed so hard...
expecially when Chloeeeee saw it...*L*

i'm so sorry that you've ever got the impression that i didnt care for you .... i cant see how??

hey! i gotta go, battery backup is on....

Stay strong for me Brii...

i love you guys so much!!
we'll see what happens if i can get back on soon or not....k

[Blazey]

OMG..i hadnt thought of that in years..i was soo embarrassed..haha..bless your heart for rememberin..things are sometimes not what they seem on here...my mistake for thinking what i did..your a good one..hold your head up.. [img]graemlins/thumbs_up.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[The Reverend Dark Angel]

I ain't given you some sappy big long speech. You told me you were gonna live through this shit. So shut the fuck up with the suicide talk and start living through it.

Oh and Happy Birthday [img]graemlins/kiss.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

[CanadianGirl]

take ONE day at a time mel and be strong thats the only way your gonna make it through life...life seems easy sometimes, but its not...YOU have alot of friends that care and love YOU and is here to listen to you when you need someone to talk to so dont be scared to pull one of us aside if you wanna talk...WE are here for YOU mel *smiles*...I have learnt to take life how it is dealt to you and everything will fall in place how it is suppose to and be positive in life, cuz if your negative it will get you no where...so BE strong

[Më£ïñÐa]

yeah, i said i'd live through this shit....

but it wont stop, everything i try to hold on to, gets taken away..
i have to let go, theres nothing more to hold on to.....
every time i try to stand up, something knocks me down..... there's no reason to even try to stand up anymore....
i dont see any reason, except to exist


.
even Jesus died from bein beatin down......right?

[Briii]

Big difference mel...

Jesus died because He laid down His life willingly.

He allowed it to happen.

Do you not think for one moment that if He had demanded, 10 thousand angels would of been by His side and removed him from that deplorable situation?

Of course He could of done that.

He had the power to will it so.
But...
He didn't.

He gave His life for the multitude. That includes me... 'n you.

Don't hand over your life so easily.
Aren't you worth anything?
Don't you matter?
Don't you have self-worth?

Of course you do.
Can you not see the people surrounding you now who care?
If we care, then you owe it to yourself to care too.

Yes, life's a bitch.
But, as they say... "and ya die" it doesn't have to be "right now".
Now does it?

Stand up.
Be strong.
You can you can't.

I say... you ARE.

I've been down, I've been REALLY DOWN mel. You or no-one else on this hostboard knows just how down I've been.

Its somethin I haven't ever shared with anyone, just cos.
Its tough to climb back up from the bottom.
Its a struggle.

I didn't wanna get back up to the top.
Cos I simply didn't care.

But, things began to change...SLOWLY.
I was discouraged... I was depressed, I was listless....
I just didn't give a damn about anything.

Standing back, looking back, its been 5 years since I was down there at the bottom.
I'm happier right now than I've ever been.

Life ain't just always peachy.
Its hard.

But you can make it past this. It doesn't even matter if you want to or not. Just keep pluggin. Just do it.

Then... when you get one step up... don't turn around and look back...keep goin forwards.

When your life is where you want it to be... THEN turn around. Look back. THEN you'll appreciate the difficult steps it took to get you where you are.

Mel....trust me........
its gonna be ok.